I can ride my bike with no handlebars.

So, I found this book called "What We Could Have Done With the Money," by Rob Simpson, which lists fifty ways that the government could have spent the money used for the war in Iraq. Apparently this guy was so outraged, not just by the fact that the government has spent $1 trillion on the war, but that no one else seems to be angry about it. Eventually he realized that it must be because we can't really understand how much money $1 trillion is. So, he decided to break it down for us. Some of them are silly, but some are really heartbreaking.

I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product

$1 trillion could be used to pave every inch of highway in the United States with 23.5 karat gold.
It could be used to pay for the college tuition of every high school student in the U.S.
It could be used to build Habitat for Humanity homes for 16,666,667 families.

I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let them all die in exasperation
Have them all grilled leaving lacerations
Have them all killed by assassination

He also created sort of an online store where you can "go shopping" with $1 trillion.

So, I:

• Bought Dracula's Castle ($140,000,000)
• Bought a townhouse in Manhattan ($18,000,000)
• Produced a Hollywood movie ($150,000,000)
• Bought the world a Coke ($6,500,000,000)
• Fed 1000 starving children from birth to their 18th birthdays ($2,160,000)
• Fed 900 of the "least of these" ($900)
• Bought a goat, of course ($150)
• Adopted 999 polar bears ($99,900)
• Built and equipped 999 hospitals in third world countries ($41,258,700,000)
• Restored the sight of 500 cataract sufferers in underdeveloped nations ($16,500)
• Bought a Porsche 911 Turbo ($126,200)
• Thought "What the heck?" and bought a Saleen S7, too, even though I don't even know what that is (apprently it goes really fast) ($395,000)
• Bought an estate in Honolulu with eight bedrooms and five bathrooms ($7,999,000)
• Bought an Air Force One ($325,595,000)
• Bought Disneyland in Hong Kong ($3,500,000,000)
• Bought Habitat for Humanity homes for 999 families ($59,940,000)

But then I ran out of things to buy.
I spent $51,961,088,650 and still had $948,038,911,350 left over for... anything.

I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like them and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command

So yes, I am enraged that my country spends money so needlessly, then turns around and complains about the state of things.

I can guide a missile by satellite (by satellite, by satellite)
And I can hit a target through a telescope (through a telescope, through a telescope)
And I can end the planet in a holocaust (in a holocaust, in a holocaust)

And yes, I am ashamed to be associated with such a government.

And I can ride my bike with no handlebars (no handlebars, no handlebars)

Dear world, this is not my Jesus.