Not yet a time to build up

One of the hardest things for me to do lately is to be patient.
I don't mean that like, "Oh, why can't Friday or Christmas or my birthday come faster?" I mean patient when it comes to people. I find it hard to be loving.

For anyone who thinks that wherever they work has the worst customers ever, I believe Panera's customers can beat up your customers in a battle of the most ignorant.
Although, "ignorant" is a word that has seemed to acquire an inaccurate definition. It does not mean "rude"; quite literally, it means "not knowing."

I guess I'm using it to refer to the people who for some reason keep coming in asking for salmon cream cheese, to the woman who demanded to know why our toaster wasn't working since "You're a bagel place!" to the girl who sat at her table and waived her arm around obnoxiously for someone to come and refill her drink. Um, HELLO?!
It seems like everytime I go into work, at least one person uses Jesus' name in accordance with some not-so-nice language, and I'm so incredibly sick of it.

It's just been hard for me to deal with people lately, not just at work, but at Rush and church and Monkeezbrew and... everywhere.

Last Friday David and I went to this thing called Rush (a teen center or whatever they call it) with our friend TJ and it was so, so hard to not just walk around punching people in the face and screaming at them to stop being so stupid!

And for some reason, Matt still seems to have it in his head that I need to be pushed to socialize.
The Wednesday night series on authority is really convicting... It's hard not to come back in a disrespectful manner.
I've said before that I'm fully aware that I'm not the most social of people. I was and still am okay with that. It isn't something that's going to change. But I do understand that, as a Christian, I can't possibly live my life in isolation, and I am working on it. I do have people at RichFork that I socialize with and feel myself growing closer to.
It's really hard not to feel... I don't know, targeted or... something.
"Why can't you just leave me alone?" rings painfully loud in my head. I know he's just trying to help, and I admit that sometimes I do need to be pushed to do things, but not all of the time.

It's taken me a long time to stop hating RichFork just because it's RichFork, and sometimes I still dread going there, but I do feel like I'm making progress. It's slow, but it's progress nonetheless.

To be honest, I don't really know where I am going with this. I'm not even sure if I made any sense at all.